Posts for February 27th 2011
This is to that few of you: (you shold know who you are)
Thanks for being there, when I'm angry or sad or moody, you are always there.
You tried to understand,
even if i was being a little rude. (or very, sometimes.)
I treasure people like you <3
Always ask what's wrong with me and caring for me,
I really needed all that. Thanks loads.
I love you.
You need to hear me out
and they say speak now.
I'm not the kind who would speak up. Everything's being planned at the back of my head, until one thing hits and BAM, my masterplan goes all the way. Yes, i dont tell anything to anyone, especially over a phone call, i think it's totally not me. Basically i DONT call people to talk to them, only people call me to talk to me. Which in some case I'll entertain them, but after some time i lose patience in talking over the phone. That's why i can NEVER be found crying on the phone with someone else. I think it's crap. If the person's really willing to listen to you, that person will meet you.
I'm in a foul mood today. Except for the hours i spent in dance. Maybe that's another way for me to escape all my problem, besides sleeping. And today, i didnt eat for the whole day. My mother keep on thinking that I'm on diet, which obviously im not. I dont want to be on diet. my weight is perfectly normal. and then goes on to happend to see a photo of a couple kissing on facebook window, then she stared at it. Like -.- anyway, back to my foul mood thingy. It has beeb going on since yesterday, i think? Haiya.
But still, thanks to all those to tried to cheer me up :) deeply love you all.
Me. Myself. I.
The title itself, sound so self-centered. But i got to admit, i am. How do i say this? Hmmm.. Let me put it this way.
There's 3 group of human I need to care about:
1) Myself.
2) Family.
3) Friends.
So, i'm too much of myself. To the extent i 忽略 the others. And yeah, i cant blame them if they float away from me, it's all my fault right? I'm too much of myself that my friends are like... Perfectly fine without me. (that's the harsh way of saying it) and family... Hmm.. They'll be... *loss of speech* yeah. Get my point. So im not being attention seeking or something, but i DO feel lonely. Like i want to be someone's BEST one. Or someone's ONLY one. Like i wanna feel important. Yeap, pretty much that. But the thing about me being self-centered is.. Making all these impossible.
I dont really know what to do. I cannot stand that fact i'm nobody's BEST, neither can i stand the fact to know that without someone being there, i cant 'survive'. Gah. I'm in some sticky situation. Example..
1) your friends keep asking you out. You have two option..
The self-centered option: No, I wanna stay at home do homework. (Reason - You don't feel belonged when you go out with them)
The not so self-centered option: Yes, i will go. (Reason - before they start complaining that i dont go out with them)
This is general. No particular incident is being pointed at. But if you choose to think otherwise, then so be it.
