Felicia Jiamei Lau

I just need somebody to love ;

Much happened. I just cannot take people keep twitting about what happened, I was so close to them, well, at least not on the same table lah. But close enough go kenna a few strand of noodles. First time watch this, and expected twitter to be flooded with everything that happened. But sometimes I think that I shouldn't do this, like say bad things. I don't know lah. Maybe I'm weird or something, gossiping on twitter, isn't that a bit too open already? Well, sometimes thank God not much teachers uses twitter, facebook is already bad enough. 

Besides all these ugly stuff, my life have been the same. Motivated by myself, HAHA :) i mean it, literally! Hmmm.. i think i sort of ate and drank a little too much and i feel fat. Well, I only say that once in half a year! LOL. so yesterday after maths tuition, i went for a jog/run. for around 40 mins :D i did 2.4 and 60 situps! Like easy for me sia! especially the situp. 30 is like a piece of cake for me! LOL. imma strong gal! Anyway, i also buy mummy her bday pressie! HAHA. my most expensive give to someone! LOL :D actually that should be right! heh *shy*

Anyway, tomorrow's E-learning. And I'm digging for all the works that teacher uploaded today, cuz tomorrow i wanna slackkk! :P or maybe i should study or something? Haiya, tomorrow then decide. Or maybe i can go more jogging/exercise, keep myself healthy. I always fail to control my intake! LOL. and cause yesterday i drank too much milk tea, i've decide that i wanna STOP drinking for 1 week. or 2 week. or 3. I don't know lah, will see. 我得抵抗喝跑泡茶和奶茶的诱惑! For now, I'm downloading songs and gonna watch how to train your dragon later... it's a touching movie :)

Letting go

is it such a hard thing?

Okay, so this is something I think I gotta blog about. I originally planned so sleep but this is so important to blog about that I just had to on the computer and write one whole long essay about it. But honestly, I also think that it's crap at the same time, so yeah, I cannot make up my mind yet. But I'm just gonna type anyway. aybe at the end I should say if this post is rubbish or not.

Hmm.. There's always this thing about letting go of people with many people. Well, especially those (im not saying anyone in particular) people who often breakup and find a new guy. Some tweets/facebook status will be like one second "I love my bby, happy 2nd month to us <3" and then the next few day you'll see "I don't get what's the fucking problem with you why must you do this kind of thing to me, hurting all the girls.... ect" you get what I mean. Then the following week/days you see stuff like "why won't the memories of you go away?"

Okay, I mean I've got nothing to say if the whole friendship or relationship ended with the other party. But I think some people should learn the lesson about letting go. Wel, the past is the past, you cannot say you want to rewind it right? It's some cold hard fact that I believe everyone knows and just refuse to follow it. As for me, I will let go, but I will not forget about what happend. And I definately won't give up on a friendship/relationship when there are more good memories than the bad ones. And my defination of friendship is really simple actually, it's simply people who talk to me and actually agrees with at least ONE thing that I say.

I seem to take this thing about friendship so easily, but actually no. Cause for me, there's always only one best friend. No matter how small your clique can be (i mean, except 2 people lah, then that one also cannot be considered as a clique right) or how it is, there will always be this person that's like your 'best friend' whom you talk to the most. Anyway, back to this whole thing about letting go, I mean if people want to be happier, and you know that there's no way you go back to that particular friendship/relationship then the best way would be to let go, isn't it? There's always choices that you can make, and seriously if somebody tinks that (s)he is better off without you, then all the more you must prove to the person that you're also better off without him/her right?

It goes the same way like when someone irritate you, and to stop the person from irritatinu is to actually show that his/her irritating actions is not working on you, then the person will find it boring. But really, all this things about letting go is really personal, I've got no say in anyone's life. For me, I'll choose to let go and forget about everything if that's a happier soultion for the situation. I somehow appear no heart, but I think that in life, you must remain happy, who knows what will happend in the next day right? (TOUCH WOOD!)

so yeah, i'm the kind of girl who goes for a happier way out of a day :) and honestly I have no ides of this blog post is rubbish or what.

I don't wanna miss a thing - Aerosmith

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what youre dreaming
Wondering if its me youre seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God were together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Don't want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

I dont want to miss one smile
I dont want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

Don't want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
I dont want to miss a thing

im loving this, and i don't wanna miss a thing

The challenge.

Okay, this is suppose to be a challenge from my tumblr. Take a look at it for my purpose of doing this post! It's suppose to be on different day, but i guess i will have other thigs to blog about so i decided that i put everything into ONE post! Pro or what? Hahaha. Okay let me start.

Day 1 - Introduce yourself.
Me? I'm Jiamei, or you can call me felicia. I'm born on 9 march 1995, and yes i am 16 this year. But.. It isn't exactly sweet. Cause of everything and all the you-know-what kinda problems i face everyday. So yeah. I'm a christian and i go to City Harvest Church, in usher ministry. Also from PLMGSS (figure that out urself) and GB 4th Coy. Although i have to say i dont really like my school or my cca. I love friends, and it's true im closer to friends than family. I'm the eldest in family and have a younger sister called Jiaqi.

My favourite colour is PINK, and to be exact, i'll say hotpink. I previously had a rabbit, but that was all the past. I have a few talents.. Dance is one of them. I can play a little bit of guitar and piano. And that's pretty much about me. Ohyes, i hope that I'll be a teacher someday.

Day 2 - Explain your current relationship status
This is simple. I'm single, i dont have any ex. Why? Cause i have a fear of falling in love, that's why. I'm scared of it. To explain why i am STILL SINGLE. because i'm having Os this year and this is the correct thing to do, isn't it? I'm not against anyone having a boyfriend now, and sorry if i offended you.

Day 3 - if you could only have one wish, what would it be?
To have the people that I love to be with me forever. I mean, you won't want to be lonely right? Well, this is a rather random answer. Cause i dont think i actually gave this answer when someone ask me this question before. But i still think my answer is a not-too-bad one. Maybe this can be a little better - till the day of my death. Haha! I want to always have people that love me and people that I love around me. It makes life more colourful, don't you think so?

Day 4 - if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Hmmm.. I'm a patriotic girl. If you dont know. So i'll choose singapore. I mean it's so safe. Like come on, and it's clean. Seriously. And if you say singapore is still not as awesome, cause singapore still developing mah! I love singapore for all the food and the people and this culture and the fact singapore is so lively and have various races and religion. But really, i choose singapore because mainly it's safe.

Day 5 - the most amazing thing that has ever happend to you.
Hmmm.. The day when I was born :) i dont know how to answer this question actually.

Day 6 - my best friend.
Okay, to apologise to whoever that might be heartbroken after seeing the name. But to me, a best friend is only ONE person. And yeah, i'll choose vk! (i hope you're reading this, but dont cry kays!) it's really a thing about best friend. I always think that there can only be one person. So yeah. Vk cuz i've known her since p1 and she brought me to church :) we spent loads of fun times together! And of course the not so good ones also :P i shall not elaborate much cause dont wanna accidentally say something i should not say! Lol.

Day 7 - Choose lyrics and explain why you choose them.
"Now i'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking, and i'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me" hmm.. Reason for this. Because many times i feel left out, for some not so good reason lah, and yeah. I love this because it explains how i feel when im left out. But not as bad as the word killing. But almost there :)

Day 8 - if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
Definately i would say my height. I want to be taller :) i think i'll be prettier if im taller. Well, honestly i have not grown since sec 1 so i dont know if i still have the change to grow taller or not or i willremain at this same height. But hope not lah. So yeah, i wish that i would grow taller so that everything would not look so oversized on me. I got too many oversized shirt already. And im like not exactly happy with that fact that so many of my shirts are oversized. Lol.

Day 9 - someone you look up to
Hmm.. This is a thing i really wonder. I look up to different people for different stuff. Like for dance is one person, for studies is another, for music is another. It's really different for me. I mean, nobody can be so talented and wise that you can look up to him or her for the same thing right? Nobody is perfect. (and dont you ever dare to saythat you're nobody) so i have different people for the different things that i do in life. Yeah :)

Day 10 - your family
This is simple, i have 1 mother, 1 father, 1 sister, 2 paternal uncle, 2 paterbal auntie, 3 paternal cousin, 2 paternal grandparent, 2 maternal uncle, 1 maternal auntie, 3 maternal cousins. Small family, i know. Dont have to say. And guess what? Im the second oldest in both paternal and maternal cousins!

Day 11 - google the meaning of your name
My name. 嘉美 well. 嘉 as in 嘉宾 like special guest. So i suppose im special or unique. And 美 is obviously meant beauty. So i guess my name probably meant that im pretty in a special/unique way :)

Day 12 - A fameous person that you've been compared to
I cannot remember any. Sorry.

Day 13 - Something that puts a smile on your face no matter what
Well, a hug :) or a love letter that i can feel the sincerity :) i'm easily to be seen smiling!

Day 14 -What are you afraid of?
Falling in love. Cockroach. Insect. Failing studies. Backstabbers. Gangsters. Horror movies. Some dogs. Some cats. Cutting hair (errr.. As in the person cut more than what i say). The future.

Day 15 - Describe where you live
HDB flat. 3-room. Nothing very special.

I will never stop.

What's this big fuss all about? Is there something wrong with me?
I really don't understand some people who like to talk behind me, I
mean if you want to say something, just say it straight in my face.
Since I think you all will feel better to see my reaction eh? Well, I
sometimes really want someone to tell me what people say about
me. I don't understand.

I don't see the problem with me liking someone or something like
that. Well, probably some people think that it's even impossible for
someone to fall for me, but who knows? And people DO like me
before, any problem with that? Probably it's just some people that
they do not have a guy who like them. I do not blame them, but they
don't have to do stuff that affect people who have admirers.

Still, I'm keeping a positive mindset as much as I could, maybe
until someday when I really want to stop this. Then I'll decide on
what to do bah. Meanwhile there's a limit to everything I want to
hear. Some people got to grow up :)

My kind of friend.

Hmm, i can't help but to notice that twitter has this trend going on.. the thing about #that1friend. And I'm trying to define it as 'the special someone' or really merely 'just a friend'. It is really seldom you have that ONE special one that really stands out unless that person mean so much to you. I might not be totally right, neither am I totally wrong.

I mean really, a special friend does special stuff, and only ONE person can deserve to have the label of #that1friend. It goes the same was, for me best friend can only be one person. Like when you use the word 'best' it means the one and only. And it's only that one person that can match up to the importance of my boyfriend. Mind you, best friend and boyfriend are two different person. I would not exactly like them to be the same person though.

It's really heartwarming to see text messages that tell you stuff like 'I just want you to be alright.' It makes me feel.. (how do you say that..) WARM. like you feel really safe with that person. Definately, there are different things I would expect from a best friend and a boyfriend. I shall not say it out here, it's for me to know and for whoever that is reading thing to find out. Then probably in this case, whenever I mention #that1friend, it can only either be my best friend or my boyfriend (which I don't have, let me stress that).

Ironically, I've been using the tag #that1friend on different people. I'm weird, forget it.

times..

Today is like... not productive. but, i did well in maths tuition, at least managed circles questions on my own. S-L-O-W-L-Y. im happy for that :) Hahaha. ohwell. just now watched black swan. I am speechless about it. then next movie would be despicable me. then easy A ... ect. (the list goes on) and in the middle, melissa suddenly whatsapp me to meet her. and i agreed :O

she very cute sia. she ask me if i got miss her or not! then she was like "i miss you." and im like WOAHHHHH. okay, i was stunned lah :x i mean, seriously. but still, excited to meet her on friday! gonna catch some movie! havent seen her much after chingay and all.

Dancing Crazy ;

cause I'm back from camp! Yay, like finally :) 

Come to think of it, it's not hard to define the term 'holiday' for the students of any secondary school. I mean, you have students who are busier than the teachers in the school. Some students still have to go back to school from monday to friday. I'll have to say I'm quite fortunate to only have camp that last until today! Like actually only 2 days. Now is back to life, do homework, go tuition and more homework!

Not exactly looking forward to school starting.. HAHA. Anyway, saturday is always fruitful :) LOL. Went for bball, but end up badminton, then went bowie then went service. then went to watch movie :) Gnomeo and Juliet, epic story, but cute. It's not recommended by me cause it's like you can be director (as in guess what happend next). Yeah. 

Camp is nothing interesting. Really. I sneaked in phone, that's exciting right?( I'm being sacarstic)